Ilosaarirock Festival 11th – 13th July 2014  \\  Joensuu  \\  Finland  \\  ilosaarirock  \\  @ilosaarirock

How to find a festival sweetheart – Part IV – A New Hope

(Read the previous installment here.)

“You are all alone, there are no friends here. Never have, never will be. Trust me!”

I woke up from my two-hour slumber to these characteristically Finnish lyrics from Heikki Kuula. In my heart of hearts, I nurtured a quiet hope that the words would not be an omen. That just couldn’t be, since we were on the bestest and friendliest festival in the whole of Finland. Here the rapper is friends with the metalhead, and the lion lies down with the lamb. This thought brought a piercing ray of sunshine to my piercing headache.

After gathering my wits and things, I started to take account of last night. Was there anything to recount to future generations? Yes, I think so!

The scoreboard after Saturday:

– 68 hugs
– 16 kisses on the cheek
– 6 kisses
– 0 French kisses
- 14 phone numbers
– 1 piece of commemorative underwear
– 100 pushups
– 69 invitations to an after-afterparty (or was it 72?)
– 1 disco ball
– 0 sweethearts
- 1 partrigde in a pear tree

I gave it my all, and did it my way, but it just wasn’t enough to find my soulmate. What’s the rub? I had fun, plenty of, and I met the most incredible people, but that final je ne sais quoi just wasn’t there.

One hundred pushups!

Steeled by my failure the previous night, I set out with even greater gusto towards the festival grounds. I still have a few aces up my sleeve, and one of them is the legendary Kissing Booth.




(Will our intrepid reporter find love in the Kissing Booth? Find out in our next installment!)

Text: Maija Ulmanen
Photos: Terhi Hytönen
Translation: Jaakko Suvanto

Posted in: In English.